Some Say This Is Hell
by StillNotGinger17
Summary: Living as a hunter in the Mojave has proved a difficult life for Jade. But one night will change her life forever. The night she finds a lucky gambling chip.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Wadswroth's antenna flickered, and he floated towards Billy and Delilah, who were perched on the couch, talking of the events that were taking place.

"I come bearing bad news." Wadswroth's robotic voice made them stop and turn to him.

He reached into his head compartment, and pulled out a note. Billy glanced at Delilah before taking, and opening the note to read it.

_ Dear Billy and Delilah,_

_ Thank you so much for your support in these past few days. Go knows it__'__s the best thing that could__'__ve happened to this family. If you__'__re reading this letter__… __then I must be dead. I knew it was coming, and I accepted it. Please don__'__t fret on my behalf. _

_ After knowing and trusting you for so long__… __I__'__d like to leave my daughter in your hands. You can do what you wish with her. You can keep her as your own, travel back to the Mojave, re-build the life you once had. Or you can send her to the Citidale, where Sarah Lyons will take care of her. Either way, please make sure she is safe. I know you two will be great parents. _

_ Tell Jade I love her. _

_Crystal Almodovar _

Billy, tears stinging his rough eyes, looked over at his wife, who couldn't bear to tare her eyes away from the desperate letter in her husbands hands. Even though they had a vague idea that Crystal was not going to return, the real, hard truth of the matter hit them both hard. Delilah's breath became shaky as she forced her eyes away from the paper, and up into her husbands teary gaze.

"What… what are we going to do?" She asked, tears surfacing now.

Billy glanced at the child asleep in the crook of the dirty couch, suckling her thumb tenderly. He looked at her for a long time before replying. He stood, went to the child, and lifted her into his arms. Delilah stayed in tormented silence as she watched her husband hold the toddler in his large arms. He stroked the child's flawless cheek with his dirt covered thumb tenderly. In that moment, love came flooding into his heart towards this child. And all at once he knew he was to be the one to keep her from danger for the rest of his life.

"…Jay…" He stuttered. "We'll call her Jay."


	2. Chapter 1: You Can Call Me Jay

Chapter 1

You can call me Jay

_'Stars of the midnight ranges, shining through the night, Stars of the midnight ranges, light my way tonight.'_

The radio played softly in the background as the family settled into the small bungalow under the Mojave's night sky. Jay had learned to walk completely on her own. Even though Billy sometimes indulged her with a ride on the Brahmin as they made their treacherous journey back to the lights of New Vegas. It had taken at least four year's for them to travel from Washington to Nevada. Billy was surprised by just how fast their journey had been, but did not miss it. He smiled as he handed a bottle of chilled, purified water to his daughter as she nestled herself on the couch, staring at a book that they had brought back with them. The resemblance between her and her true parents were strikingly obvious. Her blue eyes shined like diamonds as they stared onto the rustic pages of a pre-war book. Her golden silk hair submitted to the tight two braids on either side of her small face, accenting her soft features.

"Watcha reading?" Billy asked casually.

"Serlock is Home." Jay replied, taking the bottle from Billy's hand happily. He smiled, sitting next to her gently.

"I believe it's Sherlock Holmes." He corrected her.

"I thought so…." She mumbled, struggling to open the bottle with one hand. Billy, without even thinking, opened the bottle for her, and helped her bring the plastic to her lips. She gulped happily, enjoying the water provided for her.

"Where's Mama?" She asked after she had swallowed. She had already taken to calling the woman she's traveled with this far 'mama'. It was a revelation that happened somewhere along the trip. And it was also something that staggered the woman every time she was called by Jay, the woman never having a child of her own.

"She's just freshening up, she'll be out soon." Billy explained, leaning to see the pages of the book. "Need help?"

Jay smiled shyly at Billy. "Yes please."

The woman appeared from the washroom, only to find Jay and her husband cuddled up together on the couch, Billy tracing his fingers gently across the pages.

"It is simply, again, the means of deduction…" Billy said slowly and carefully.

"What is de-duck-soon?" Jay chirped, making the woman laugh quietly. The two glanced up at her as she came closer.

"It's 'de-duc-tion' sweetheart." She said, sitting across from them. Her brown eyes glossed over as she looked at the girl, love warming her tired heart.

"De…duck….shion…" Jay managed to say, concentration wrinkling her young features.

"Eeh, close enough." Mama laughed.

( )

"Papa, please!" Jay whined, stomping her foot on the dirt ground. Billy stood at the door, a hunting rifle in hand. He stared down into his daughters blue eyes. She had been asking for weeks now to join his hunting affairs. And no matter how many times he protested, she always came back begging harder than the last time. Despite the comfort that Delilah had provided for her, Jay had always wanted to go hunting with Papa. Billy sighed, realizing she was never going to let up.

"Alright, little one, come along with me." He said, rustling Jay's blonde hair. She smile widely, now unable to contain her excitement. But as the day went on, Billy started to regret his decision to gave into his daughters wild ideas. Although he insisted on carrying the rifle, she wanted to hold a weapon, as well. He decided to lend her a small pistol, just her size, so that she would feel better. Before he had given it to her, though, he had placed it on safety. Just in case. The gun was mainly only for her comfort. Even if she did figure out a way to pull it off of safety, there wouldn't be any bullets to fire. He had all the clips stashed away in his belt. But she treated it like it was the most precious thing in the world. Her blue eyes lit up completely as Billy handed Jade's dream to her. Now, she held the pistol to the ground carefully, a tight, yet excited expression creasing her young features.

"We're huntin' Big Horners, sweetheart. It mean's we've got to be stealthy, but fast." Billy began explaining. "Be as quiet as you possibly can. We don't want them charging on us."

"Got it."

Billy felt an extremely uneasy with his daughter hunting. When him and his wife agreed to take care of her, he promised he'd keep her safe. Seeing her clutching a pistol in her small hands made his heart skip a beat. Up until now he had always envisioned his daughter a rosy cheeked, innocent doll. It was amazing what one gun could do. Finally, in the distance, Billy's aged, but sharp eyes spotted a pack of Big Horners in the distance.

"Sshh." He whispered, instructing Jay to stop. He pointed towards the large animals. "See that?"

Jay's blue eyes widened. Billy crouched down slowly, Jay copying his every move.

"We stay quite, you hear? Them Big Horners have the best hearing in all the desert." He explained as softly as he could.

"Okay." Jay whispered back.

After a few seconds of staring at the Big Horners, Jay pipped up.

"Papa… why aren't we moving?" She asked, obviously getting impatient.

Maybe he shouldn't have brought his daughter…

"We're observing, sweetheart. 'Member, like in those Sherlock books your mother had?" He asked. Jay nodded. "It's the same, 'ere. We need to figure out when the best time to attack, is. Once we know, we'll run'in for the kill." He explained.

This seemed to get Jay on the same page, as she shut her mouth, and kept perfectly still. Billy took a few seconds to admire her stealth. Such a thing to have mastered at that age is a true miracle in these deserts. She hadn't shown that skill before… or maybe she just hadn't needed to.

Finally, once the Big Horner's were classified as 'not going anyw'ere', Billy slowly began to move towards them.

"Be careful Jay. We don't want to make them charge at us." Billy whispered as softly as he could. Jay only nodded, still pointing her pistol at the ground.

Once he was a good distance away from the Big Horner's, he looked down his scope, and aimed the shot. Then, with a quick breath, he squeezed down the trigger, and expertly hit one of the Big Horner's right in between the eyes. The large beast fell to the ground instantly, making it's fellow grazers flee as fast as they could.

"We did it, Papa, we did it!" Jay called, a large smile plastered on her face.

"That we did, Jay. That we did." Billy replied, patting his daughter on the back lovingly. Jay's eyes sparkled as she looked up at him, and he couldn't help but think of her mother. He remembered when those same eyes looked at him in admiration, but ones that belonged to Jay's mother. He didn't believe that he would be a good father, but as he looked into the smiling face of his gem of a daughter, he knew that she was left in good hands.

( )

_Ten Years Later_

It was a good day for a hunt. There was no denying that. The sun shown large in the sky, bouncing off the red rocks of the small canyon my family and I were placed in. It was bright, it was hot. Perfect day for grazing. For Big Horner's that is. It was also a perfect day to test a few things. While one of my trips to Goodsprings, I found an abandoned camp sight. Luckily, I was alone, otherwise I wouldn't have the most important thing that was in my bag. A dose of Jet. I had heard of this drug, but I had never really gave it a shot before. Mainly because of my parents. They would have been so disappointed in me if they had noticed. That was the worst thing a parent could do, in my opinion. Instead of yelling, Papa would only look at me with those saddening eyes, followed by a small shake of the head. And for the rest of the night would refuse to make eye contact with me. Mama did most of the discipline, such as sending me to my room, to a time out, or just a stern talking to. I hated the way they got upset with me. Mostly because I wasn't actually their kid… I felt like if they caught me doing something wrong, they would have wished that they had never taken me in when I was a child.

It took everything I had to keep the dose of Jet a secret. I was eighteen now, it was time for me to start experimenting on my own. Except my parents had troubles letting me go to do my own thing. It was a miracle that they had let me go alone on this trip at all. After so many hunting trips with Papa, I knew the area like the back of my hand. Once he taught me how to skin and clean a Gecko, that's when I really began making my money. No matter where I went, I could always find somebody who would pay for the hides. Even the meat was a clean seller. Every once and while I would find an egg or two. That was always a delicious a treat. After a lot of dead Gecko's, and buckets of sweat, I was finally able to afford my very own rifle. It was a mixture of a Cowboy Repeater and a Brush Gun. Papa said after all of the adjustments I had made it would now properly be called a Winchester Rifle. It sounded a little pompous calling it that, so I just called it _my _rifle. It's taken out many animals since I've bought it, and today it will kill even more. After I was quite a ways from the house, I took a seat on a large log, catching my breath.

It was _hot_ out today. Mid July was always the hottest in the nuclear Mojave desert. No matter how long I've lived here, I'll never get used to the suffocating heat that seemed to drain you of all life. I dug through my bag, and clutched the cool water bottle with my sweaty hands. I let the cool liquid flow down my throat, gasping for air when I had finished swallowing what I could. I had mostly missed my mouth, sending clean water over my neck and shoulders. I was too grateful to be upset. When I had finally got my shit together, I looked around to make sure everything was safe. When I realized it was, I plucked the Jet inhaler from my bag. I looked closely at the drug, rolling it around in my hands as I examined it closely. The substance was a mixture of Big Horner dung fumes, and the left over medicine from pre-war inhalers. The drug was rare, and sort of a delicacy, really. The effects of the drug were perfect for hunters. It made the five senses more sharp, and made you more sensitive to danger around you. Surely Papa wouldn't be _that_ mad if I told him I thought it would put more meat on the table. Then, without another thought, I took a puff. Not just a regular puff. A huge puff.

I filled my lungs with the bitter sweet fumes, and fell into a fit of coughing almost immediately. I dropped the inhaler on the ground as I doubled over, desperate for air. After what felt like an eternity of coughing, I slowly brought my head up, one hand clutching my forehead, as if to cover my eyes from the new world in front of me. Part of me was terrified. The initial excitement to trying this drug quickly wore off as my head began to pound excruciatingly. For a while all I could hear was my heart beat, and my heavy breathing. I was terrified to open my eyes, unsure of how Jet would effect my vision. Finally, after I sat there for a little while, I slowly uncovered my eyes. Then, right in front of me, was the face of the most hideous beast I had ever laid eyes on. Horns sprawled from it's head and curled upwards, jet black fur covering everything except it's bright red eyes. It snarled at me, revealing sharp, white teeth. I shrieked, jumping from my seat on the log, and ran away as fast as I could. Didn't matter where, just away. As I did I heard it calling to me… it's voice low, dark, erie, terrifying.

"Don't run!" It screeched.

I just kept running, shocked by just how clear and crisp my vision actually was now. I dove behind a large rock, hearing my heart like a drum in my ears as I waited for the beast to pass.

"Well hello there." Came a sharp, chirping voice. I nearly jumped ten meters in the air, glaring where the voice had come from. It was a teddy bear. Standing on his two feet, one eye replaced with a button, and sported a red bandana around his neck. I blinked a few times, willing the drugs to drop it's hold on me. Sure, the extra sharp senses were great and all… but this was fucking terrifying.

"What's your name?" The bear asked. I didn't answer, only continued to stare. He looked so real… "Well… my name is Ted."

"J…Jay." I stuttered, surprised by how my voice sounded now.

The bear tilted it's little head in pleasant surprise, his buttoned eyes lightening up happily.

"What a cute name." He said, followed by an obnoxious giggle.

I cupped my forehead in my hands, trying my best to catch my breath.

"Do you know that guy?" I asked, half to myself, half to this… Ted thing.

"The-The monster?" His little voice squeaked at the mention.

"So… you do know." I said, looking towards him. But instead of a cute teddy bear, it was now a Fire Gecko, looking intently into my eyes. I shrieked, jerking away from the new threat. Just then a firm hand gripped my shoulder, and I turned quickly to see the monster that had chased me. Before I could scream, it morphed into a worried expression of a man.

"Come with me." He said sternly. I didn't recognize him, but I realized there was no use in arguing. He looked like it was urgent, as if there was more than just the fire gecko. I leapt up to my feet, and was quickly shoved behind the man as he pointed his gun at the fire gecko, and fired. Then he grabbed my hand, and began running the opposite direction. Things were switching from hallucinations to reality constantly, making it so the man kept changing to a terrifying beast. After I blinked my eyes he became himself again. He stopped in mid sprint, making me bump into him.

"Hey, what was that.." I started, but he shushed me. I frowned deeply. "You did not just shush me."

"I said hush!" He snarled, looking out into the distance in concern. Then the ground began to shake underneath our feet. I looked where the guy was looking, and saw over the hill was a cloud of red fog. Following underneath it were hundreds of terrifying monsters. The kind I imagined in my head as Papa would read to me 'The Hound of Baskerville." I heard the snarling, the growling… sending shivers down to the very marrow of my bones.

"What in the hell are those?!" I yelled.

The man didn't answer, but only began sprinting the opposite direction. After a few seconds he finally answered me. "Big Horner's. Their stampeding."

I turned to look back, and sure enough, the once horrifying monsters were now regular old Big Horner's. Regular old dangerous stampeding Big Horner's…

"What are we going to do?" I asked in a panic, turning back to the man.

"_You_ are going to just follow me. Now hurry up!" He yelled. I decided there was no use in intruding, considering he had no need to save me… so instead I just complied as best I could. Soon afterwards, we shifted to the side, and quickened our pace. Then, before I knew it, I was thrown behind a cluster of bushes. I hit the ground hard, making it so that any sign of hallucinations were knocked out of me. I turned quickly to see the man throw what I assumed was a frag grenade in the distance before ducking behind the bush next to me, closer than I had thought he would get. Luckily the Big Horner's were distracted by the explosion that followed, and sped right past us.

"That… was close." I breathed, trying to catch my breath.

"Next… next time you experiment with… Jet, make sure you're not next to a flock of… fucking Big Horner's." The guy said, trying to catch his own breath.

"How did you…"

"I watched the whole thing… Yah do know you that…you need just a certain amount of… Jet for huntin'…right?"

There was a silence as I let his words float into the air.

"I think a thank you is an order." The man said. I sighed, shaking my head.

"Thank you… whoever you are." I said reluctantly.

"You're welcome….whoever _you_ are." He said back.

Another bit of silence presumed as we both caught our breath. Once we were both breathing normally, I chimed up.

"I'm Jay." I said softly.

"Brad…" He replied.

"Thanks for saving me, Brad." I said, chuckling slightly.

"You're welcome, Jay." He chuckled back. We both caught eyes for a second. His eyes were dark brown, his hair pitch black, and his skin tanned by the sun. You could tell he was a hunter just by looking at him. The smallest bit of stubble dotted his mouth, chin and jaw, making him look older than he probably was. He broke out into a smile, making me smile back. Then the two of us started laughing at each other, at how ridiculous we both were. After a little while of just sitting there, Brad lead me to where I had been before I took the dose of jet. I was surprised by just how far away it was.

"It didn't feel like that long of a way." I explained as we approached my abandoned supplies.

"Of course it didn't. Jet can do some marvellous things, but also some terrible things if not careful." He said.

"And how would you know?" I asked, stooping down to get the empty inhaler. Maybe I could sell it, remove the evidence that this whole thing had ever happened.

"Yah don't need to know a whole lot about Jet to know that it's a damn drug. Any drug will do that yah."

I swallowed deeply, stuffing the inhaler into my back pack, while checking to see if everything was still in place.

"And let me tell yah, running off like yah did wasn't helpin' your huntin' in anyway, shape nor form. Why were yah even tryin' it?" He asked.

I swung the back pack over my shoulders, securing it tightly over my back.

"Huntin'. You know, more meat on the table for my family." I explained. Brad smirked, nodding his head.

"Yeah, I understand that. What, are times tough?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nah. Just… I just… I dunno, I just wanted to try somethin' new." I said, moving past Brad and towards the house.

"Well next time try not to use any drugs." Brad said, following after me.

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back home." I said sternly. Then mumbled "Papa's gonna be angry that I'm coming home empty handed…"

"Don't worry. We got that Gecko from before." He explained. I turned my head to see that he was holding up the fire Gecko.

"I didn't think you hit it in the right place." I said in surprise.

"I always hit my target. Always."

( )

Brad seemed like a good guy. Considering he saved my life and all… Still, there was no telling what Papa would say to him. Or Mama for that matter. Brad insisted on taking me home so I'd be safe. I assured him that I was, but he just chuckled and continued to follow me. But he did promise to not speak of the Jet. The second I opened the door to the house Papa was already standing at the doorway, his eyebrows farrowed with worry. He gathered me tightly in his arms the second he saw me, not giving me enough time to put the fire Gecko down. I felt Brad quickly grab it before it could fall to the ground.

"Thank God you're alright." He mumbled. Just behind him was an equally worried looking Mama. She pushed passed him and wrapped her strong arms around me just as tight.

"Don't you ever do that again, yah hear?" She said, kissing my head over and over again. I glanced back at Brad, who only lifted his eyebrow at me.

"Who's this?" Papa asked, staring directly at Brad. Just before I had time to say something, Brad chimed up.

"My name is Brad. I found your daughter here in a bit of a pickle. I guess she didn't know Big Horner's could stampede." He explained.

Papa looked over at me, still being held by Mama.

"Is this true, Jay?" He asked. He was looking at me with those 'be honest with me' eyes. I hated lying to Papa. But if he knew I was experimenting with Jet… God knows what would happen.

"Yeah… I guess I didn't see them." I explained. Papa only stared at me for a few seconds, as if to say 'Is that the truth?' I looked down, not knowing how to handle his piercing eyes. After a little while Brad saved me.

"If it helps anything, mister, she bolted pretty damn fast. You've got yourself a runner here." He explained. Papa turned to him, glaring harshly.

"Don't you cures at me, boy." He snarled.

"Papa…" I said softly. I had never heard him so defensive…

"Sorry, sir… I didn't mean…" Brad started, but stopped and cleared his throat. He looked nervously back up at Papa.

"We uh… we got you a good catch." He murmured, holding the fire Gecko out to Papa, who took it reluctantly. After it was clear Papa wasn't going to speak again, Brad turned his attention to me.

"See yah, Jay. Keep safe." He said. I couldn't tell what he was thinking based on his expression… he was anything but an open book.

"Back atcha." I replied.

"Goodbye, Brad." Papa said sternly, and closed the door on him. Mama placed her hands on either side of my face, looking closely at me.

"Lemme see my baby. He didn't hurt yah, did he?" She asked. I tried pulling away, which only made her grip on tighter.

"No, Mama, I'm fine." I whined. She kissed me hard on the forehead before letting go of me. Right afterwards I turned to Papa, who was looking out the window suspiciously, the fire Gecko gently placed on the counter near the door.

"You didn't need to do that, Papa." I said, walking towards him.

"If that boy lays one hand on my little girl…" He started.

"But he didn't, Papa. He got me away from the stampede before I was flattened." I whined a little louder now.

"Then what's that?" He asked, turning sharply to point at my forearm. I looked, and sure enough there was a bruise in the shape of a hand print. My brows forwarded. Did he really pull me that hard? Mama gasped at the sight, rushing over to the fridge immediately.

"That's nothing." I said, rubbing my hand over the bruise. It did kind of hurt come to think of it…

"Doesn't look like nothin' to me. Jay, you be honest with me here." Papa said, coming towards me, making me gulp nervously. "Did that boy do anything, anything at all to hurt you?"

"N-no…" I said softly. Papa raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Okay! Maybe he threw me behind a bush, and yeah maybe he grabbed me a little too hard, but it was all because he was trying to save me." I explained. I flinched as Mama set a cold Nuka Cola against my bruised arm, but didn't break eye contact with Papa. He wasn't letting go…

"Jay, why in the world would yah need saving in the first place? You're a good hunter." Papa said.

"Oh, don't start…" I mumbled, turning my face away from him.

"It's the truth, and yah know it, too. There's no way you would set off a stampede like that, you know better."

"I was tired, I didn't pack enough water."

"You never not pack enough water!"

"Well, I did today!"

There was a tense silence as the two of us seethed in our own anger to each other. Despite not actually being related to Papa, we were scarily alike. We've never actually fought like this before… maybe a few harsh words, but nothing like this. Mama shifted the bottle on my arm, making me wince.

"Sorry, sweetheart." She said softly, then looked up at the two of us. "I think we should look at the bigger picture here. Jay is still here, and that's better than the alternative." She explained. After a few seconds, Papa sighed, and turned to the fire Gecko. Mama turned me towards her, inspecting the bruise a little further.

"Nice shot on this, Jay." Papa said.

"Brad shot it, Papa." I replied. He just stared at the carcass for a few seconds, tilting his head to the side.

"The boys a good shot…" He muttered.


End file.
